Beach, after sunset

First time I went to the beach after sunset. Though I couldn't see the turquoise blue color of the sea but enjoyed the contrast: dark blue sea and milky white waves. When I was lying alone on the grainy white sand with my eyes closed, evening breeze was my blanket and sound of splashing waves was soft music. Never felt so close to nature. I was in trance and completely relaxed.

I became a secured and carefree child who was taking a nap and her mother about to wake her up. But when I opened my eyes, I saw my son was trying to wake me up as he was exhausted after playing with water and sand. Ohh... the reality hit me, I was transported back to the present: One hour cleaning the sand, drill from every corner of my home :-) 

Lizards for dinner?

When I said “Yes” to settling down in Japan with my future husband (who was staying Japan then), I was thrown with lots of comments like – “You don’t know Japanese”, “You will be served lizards for dinner", “The most expensive country in the world”.

My adventurous side ignored those comments and I started my journey with mixed feelings. Yes, I admit initially it was difficult but gradually Japanese culture started sinking in and became a part of my personality. Now, after eight years I feel fortunate to have lived in this beautiful country where nature is at its best. I have learnt a new language, am more hardworking and organized and have a healthy life style. Japanese believe kindness and gratitude as their religion. Today, I thank them for teaching me both and I feel fortunate to have stayed and known this country so closely.  

Old memories

I always wanted to visit Qutub Minar in the morning hours to click pictures.  So, this summers when my seven-year-old son and I were visiting my mother’s home in Gurgaon, India I managed to go there with my brother.  I loved the way they wrote the opening hours -sunrise to sunset.  We reached there before sunrise and as expected it was closed, so we had to wait outside for the concerned person to arrive. It was hot and humid and there were flies disturbing my son. There were few energetic morning walkers who gave us strange looks and few stray dogs that were able to go in and out of Qutub Minar complex. Finally when my son almost gave up his fight with the flies and my brother was about to loose his patience, the ticket master arrived and we were able to go in.

Few steps inside the complex took me back to my childhood days when I visited this historic place with my parents. In those times going inside the tower was allowed (not any more) and to my surprise I could recollect those old moments. Nothing has changed and it smelled the same after twenty long years.  I hear my son screech in excitement as we go near the 73 m tall red sandstone minar built in 1193 with Arabic inscription. The lush green complex is surrounded by several other ancient and medieval structures and ruins is collectively known as the Qutub complex. It looks heavenly in the morning sunlight and is a perfect click!

It started getting hot but we still had to cover the other half of the complex. We saw iron pillar that weighs more than 6000 kg with inscription in Sanskrit. It was interesting to see inscriptions in two different languages - Arabic and Sanskrit. Next we saw an unfinished structure called Alai Minar. It was intended to be two times higher than Qutub Minar. The complex had two mosques but we were too tired to visit them. Finally we decided to head back home. I left the complex with some fresh ever lasting memories and this time in a more modern way- in my DSLR camera.

Magical Sunsets

I couldn't believe my ears when my son said that in his next birth he wants me to be his mother again! He said that he will ask God whether he can choose his mom in his next birth or not, and if he can, then he will choose me. I was in tears. I remember his birth was the best gift to me ever but I remember those times when I just wanted to get away from him. Now, that I know how much he loves me I am scared that at some point I will have to cut the umbilical cord. I will have to do that as he will not need me as much he needs me now. Moreover, as a full time mom it will be very difficult for me to detach myself from him. Right now when I was preparing not so perfect but healthy banana wheat germ pan cakes I couldn't stop thinking about my son and our outings together.
Lately, we enjoyed our time at the beach during sunset. My son knows that I am fond of sunsets. What is so magical about that time? I wonder why every evening I look forward to seeing the sunset from my apartment. I sit with my cup and watch the ocean waves and reflection of golden orange sun on the surface of the ocean. Maybe sunset symbolizes the end of everything which starts. For me, I know over the years I will have to gradually and artfully detach and withdraw myself from my son's life.

Our Sunset Beach outing

Sunset view from my apartment

Banana wheat germ pan cakes

manicure session

The  other day when I was getting my manicure in the parlor the beautician casually asked me - "Madam where do you work?"

I found my self stammering while replying that I am a housewife and a full time mother. I was struggling to find words to justify that I don't find time and I think my son needs me etc. I wanted to convince her that though I chose not to work I still have a self worth. I wanted to prove her that my decision is correct and I don't repent. Though that lady was trying to agree with me because I was her client but I could smell the change of her attitude towards me. I keep thinking and re-framing my answer every now and then. 

Now, sitting in the cafe next to my building I don't know why and what I was trying to justify her?

Back in my school days, I remember coming back from school and chatting with my mother who was always at home waiting for us with our favorite (most of the time) dish.  She didn't have to justify any one about her job. For me the most precious and cherished moments are those gossip sessions with my mother over after-school snack. How can I take away those precious moments from my son now when he NEEDS me. Specially at this young age, as his world revolves around me. I want him to come to a home which reflects positive energy and that only the lady of the house can create. 

Cafe Outings

I love going to a cafe with my book or sometimes with my laptop. When I shifted to Japan, I couldn't understand why people have to go to a cafe to read a book? They can do that at home or library. I think now I understand why - to get away from their home environment and get into a new ambiance.  This new atmosphere changes the mood and a cup of coffee with a favorite book makes the experience enjoyable! Now, when I have to think and write then I go to the cafe next to a creek where I can indulge with myself. I couldn't help attaching the picture of my cafe outings!

Me-Time

My husband is on a business trip. That means I am alone most of the time as my son's school hours is long. My friends and family will always give me a sorry look when I tell them about me being alone. According to some people, life comes to a stand still when their other half is not around them. How can some one be so dependent on others to spend their time?
They say loving yourself and enjoying your own company is the best gift to yourself. There is so much to do and sometimes I think 24 hours is not enough. I was looking for  craft ideas for my son when I came across one lady's blog - 'No Time For Tea Party' ! Wow, thats right! She said it in four words.
I couldn't stop agreeing with Emirates Airlines latest advertisement -Mastering the Art of Me-Time. I hunt for this time when I can do things for myself. Lately soaking myself in a hot bath tub and relaxing the way I used to do in onsen, is my way of mastering my Me-Time.